A Tender Touch

I am going to tell you about my deepest and darkest fantasies. I am a heterosexual guy with normal needs. All I need is a hug, a kiss, a caress from a woman I love to spend time with. Being a young adult, I crave for a touch. A touch which electrifies your nerves. A touch which gives you tremors. A touch which makes you euphoric. A touch which enlightens your mind and body.  The seductive touch of a lady!

As I was sad and alone because of my “single and happy to mingle” status, I decided to go to a club for the first time in a while. I had alcohol before but this was something different. It was as if I wanted to drink not for the sake of drinking but to break free from the shackles of my mundane life. After having 5 shots of Vodka, I certainly felt the ecstasy and adrenaline.

To make things better, I was hit on by a girl. She probably was in her early-30s. Dark-skinned, brunette and big eyes were some of her physical attributes but what enthralled me the most was her confidence in picking up guys like me. Never before had I been so floored by someone’s wits and charm. She completely swept me off my feet. She started casually but her flirtatious attitude took center stage as she realized that I was into her. How do you respond to someone who has just numbed you with her charisma? Especially if that someone is pretty? I don’t really know. So, I came up with a stuttering reply when she asked me if I was interested in having a casual fling with her.

I asked puzzlingly “Huh?! Really? Is…is this a joke?” and smiled a bit.

She replied “Do you think it is?”

So, she was serious.

I said “Umm… I have hardly done…something like this before” and laughed nervously. After all, what else would be a reply to someone’s proposal of sleeping with them especially if that someone is unknown. Also, she would probably laugh at me if I would reveal my history with women to her.

Nevertheless, this is what she came up with. She gently told “Hey man!” as she put her arm on my shoulder and added “I’m only going to tell you once. I know you are stressed out and I know this is the last thing you want right now but maybe it will help you chill out, right?”

She couldn’t be any less right. But how did she know I was stressed? Perhaps, my face revealed everything or I was an open book or she was good at reading people. Anyways, it was going to be a first if at all it happened. I gave in. I couldn’t say “no”. She took me to her place. One of my fantasies was letting a woman dominate me (not necessarily in a sexual way).

She made me feel comfortable by offering me a pint of beer at her place. She told me she shared this place with a friend. As I was about to sit on the furniture in front of me, I noticed a sliding glass window that gave a beautiful view. I could see the street lights and countless number of cars in the distance. I slid open it and kept my hand on the railings as she lent the pint to me. 

I told her “this is an amazing place to live in”.

She nodded and mumbled “Sometimes it gets lonely”.

“I like the silence of it!” I replied as our eyes met.

I gazed at her for a while. My god she was so beautiful! I asked her to shut off the lights so that we could enjoy the gracefulness of the night. As our glasses clinked with each other, she came close to me. My heart pumped faster. We felt a connection; a spark. She caressed the back of my left palm (the one in which I was holding the pint) with her nails. I saw it and then looked into her eyes. I ran the fingers of my right hand down her face and then onto her lips. She suddenly stepped back.

She told “I’m sorry, this is a mistake” without looking me in the eye.

I didn’t know what to say.

I asked “What happened? Did I do something wrong?”

“No, it’s not you! You have been a gentleman all along.” She added “It’s just that I am used to guys who treat me as nothing more than an object…and there you are…a gentleman in every way. I’m sorry but you should go.”

“Does it work this way? Am I allowed to have a say?” I was a bit annoyed. I added “Look, it’s not like you are forcing me into this. I like whatever is going on between us. If you think that I should go only because I am different then I am not going anywhere. Look, I think you deserve to be respected.”

She probably got surprised by my reply but still she couldn’t gather enough courage to make eye contact.

“So, what will you do now?” she asked as she sat on the couch and put her drink on the table. I walked to the couch and sat beside her. I held her hand and said “I’m not here to have sex with you. I just want to relieve myself from stress and you are doing a fantastic job at that. Maybe I can help relieve some of yours.”

She smiled gently and finally looked me in the eye. She once again looked like the girl I had met at the club. She came close to me and to my surprise she grabbed my shirt and started kissing me. I put my hands on her face and continued kissing her. There are a lot of nerve endings on your lips. That’s the reason a kiss on the lips is very intimate and personal. I got aroused. After it was over, it felt awkward but deep down we both felt good.

She embarrassingly said “I probably shouldn’t have done it.”

“Yeah, me too!” 

It was dead silence for a while before she broke in “Can we hug?”

I whispered “yeah” and spread my arms in front of her so that she could bury her body into me.

I whispered into her ear “I have never felt something like this before”.

“Same here” she said.

She held my hands and said “Your hands are soft.”

I felt tremors as she ran her fingers from my hands to my shoulder and then onto my neck. She then prepared to bury her face on my lap. She relaxed on my lap. I tried to comfort her by fondling her hair. It looked like she trusted me. I was feeling home to a person I had met just a couple of hours ago.

I noticed tears in her eyes. I took out a handkerchief and handed it to her. I asked “What happened?”

She replied gently “It’s nothing” and added “just that I am not used to this. I have had a lot of history with men…never thought that I would find someone like you.”

I said “hmm…” and enquired “Do you care to tell me something about your past?” I saw the expression on her face turn pale. I added “hey, I don’t mean to pry open but…”

She said “okay” and started to revisit the painful memories of her past.

She said “I was the only child to my mother. She had single-handedly raised me to be a nice and humble person. My father was a c***. He left my mom before I was born and he reasoned by saying that he couldn’t take the responsibility of a child. He was a coward person to do that…I grew without a father and the only father figure I had was my uncle. He died 2 years ago…”

I cut her abruptly and said “Oh…I’m so sorry for your loss! I didn’t mean to reveal old wounds…” as I held her hand.

“It’s okay, really! It doesn’t hurt anymore.” She added “He was my mom’s younger brother…and now the only family I’m left with is my mom, my aunt and her family…what I have is only two cousin sisters…both of whom live in Australia, heh!” and grinned nervously.

There was silence for a while as I was trying to grasp the agony of a fatherless child.

She intervened “After my mother told me about my father’s doings, I decided that I’m never going to trust another man ever in my life…”

After a brief silence, she woke up from my lap and said irritatingly “But why did he have to come back?!”

I asked puzzlingly “Who?”

She said “My father!!”

“Wait, what?”

“Yes, he came back two years ago saying that he wanted to sort things out between him and me and my mother. He tried to explain things to me…why he left my mother before I was born and all…” She added “And then started my downfall as a person. I was so happy…so contented with my life. It was going so well before he spoilt everything. Suddenly, things changed. My mom accepted him back in her life and so I decided I am not going to talk with her anymore…and then I started to drink…I got depressed for a while…and then somewhat redeemed myself only to become the person I am today…broke, alone and full of shit”.

My god I wondered how this woman had gone through hell and how she was still able to hold her forte.

“I think you are a very brave person”. I consoled her and added “It takes something to be where you are after going through such bad shit. I admire you for your strength”.

She smiled gently.

I added “but look, I hardly know you or your family but I think you got to give your father another chance…just one chance is all he wants to show his love for you.”

She said “I can’t.”

“People have done worse in their lives. We all have made mistakes but good people look to correct those mistakes. Maybe he wants to do the same. Just think about it”.

“Yeah! Maybe!” She added “I didn’t really expect it to come out this way. I am so sorry…I didn’t mean to embarrass you”.

“Actually, I’m happy that you have poured your heart out to me. It must feel better now.”

“It did!” she replied.

It was 3 in the morning as we hadn’t slept. I just wanted to continue whatever was going on between us. I felt that she wanted to sleep.

She took me to her room and said “See I’m so wasted today that I couldn’t give you what you wanted” and grinned sheepishly and added “…but you can sleep besides me if you want.”

“OKAY!” I said and to add to the humor, I added “…you must think I am a sex-crazed misogynist, right?” and laughed.

“Lol! You and sex-crazed? Look at you! You don’t even look like you have watched porn let alone fuck someone!”

“Ouch! That hurt me! That hurt my ego!”

“Ahaan, ahaan!” she exclaimed as we both laughed about it. She added “…by the way, no offence! I was just kidding.”

“None taken!” I said as I looked her in the eye. I told “It really feels like I know you so much already”.

She smiled gently as we prepared to sleep on her bed. We lay besides each other. She took my hand and intertwined her fingers in mine. We maintained eye contact for a while. It was magical. I saw her falling asleep in front of me. I closed my eyes in a while and felt her kissing my cheeks before I could sleep.

Sometimes in life you meet people who make you feel like you’ve known them since eons. Something between both of you instantly clicks and it’s not even one-sided. Both of you feel that way. So, this girl I met trusted me like her friend and shared her life story with me and in that moment, I felt that it takes so much courage and heart to be where you are in your life, professionally and personally. Never undermine the efforts of someone who you think is superior than you because that person has given up on so many things to reach where he/she is. So, it may look like they have a flawless life but deep down they are also struggling with something in their life.

I craved for the seductive touch that night but what I got was something unbelievable. She touched my heart. In a nutshell, it was a ‘tender touch’.

I woke up early in the morning and saw her sleep like a baby besides me.

I patted her and said “Veronica!”

“What happened?” she asked as she was preparing to wake up from her bed.

“Nothing, I am leaving. Its morning” and added “You should probably sleep”.

“Okay, please help yourself out” and added “and yeah, don’t forget to add your number in my phone”.

“Sure!” I smiled. I obviously wanted to meet her once again.

I was smiling to myself about the whole incident on my way home.