Traditional and Liberal ideas of Relationships

Traditionality is generally considered ideas which are right leaning on the political spectrum. It is the set of values and ethics that have been prevalent in society for decades and centuries. Since man is a social animal, he must follow some of these principles if he wants to be a reputed member of the society. In countries like India and China, eastern philosophy of collectivism thrived throughout history. These cultures put an emphasis on developing together as a family and society. Thus, the elder members of the family always imbibed the cultural values in the young. Also, men and women in these societies were restricted to gender roles such as to earn a livelihood as a man and taking care of the children as a woman. However, starting from the late 20^th century these eastern philosophies moderated their stance on the treatment of women and started giving them more educational and employment opportunities.

On the contrary, Liberalism stemmed from Western democratic nations. These ideas were considered left leaning on the political spectrum. It focused more on individual thoughts, freedom of speech and an emphasis on gender neutral roles in society. Homosexuality was welcomed and was openly accepted as normal. Sex in general was talked about in forums and public platforms more often in a positive light. People in these countries chose to live a hyper individualistic lifestyle wherein having no partner or no children was considered as an alternative way of life. Keep in mind that this does not mean celibacy or monkhood necessarily; instead, there was no emphasis put on raising children or starting a family. On top of that, during the start of the 21^st century, casual sex was considered normal. The advent of dating apps further encouraged people to pursue sexual relationships easily and quickly.

However, our bodies and minds are hardwired to pursue long-term relationships. Our brains are still the same as they were thousands of years ago. During romantic love, Oxytocin and Vasopressin are released. Oxytocin helps in bonding with a partner after sex. It deepens the feelings of attachment and is also called “The Love Drug”. Vasopressin is linked to producing long-term monogamous relationships. Thus, by nature, we have evolved to experience happiness and satisfaction in long-term stable relationships only.

Despite being a part of Gen Z, I consider myself old school. When hookups and casual relationships have become the norm, I am thankful that I have not been sucked into this lifestyle. Additionally, I believe that my personality does not allow me to be part of it even though at one time, I wanted to engage myself in short term sexual gratification. So, I have immense respect for people who have access to easy sex but refrain themselves because their value system does not allow it.

Interestingly, in the Western world, young men are experiencing loneliness like never before. The easy access to sex I talked about before is only limited to a certain type of men. The remaining huge population of men has become less and less appealing to women. As most women these days can do what men have been doing for thousands of years, they do not want to settle for someone who is just a provider. Thus, a good provider would have been appealing to a traditional woman 50 years ago, but today he is just another guy for the modern woman. So, as much as we empowered women in our work forces, we forgot about the men. Women could evolve, men could not.

So, should liberal ideas be blamed for the loneliness? Has technology thrown us apart instead of bringing us closer? I also believe that social media plays a huge role in creating false narratives. On one side it empowers women to sleep with a lot of men by constantly feeding fake feminism and false body positivity movements. On the other hand, it conversely speaks to men about how modern women must be blamed for their loneliness and how they do not stand any chance in the dating game if they don’t have godly looks or a lot of material possessions. How often do we see gender wars in comments of a certain video or image on social media? Social media is led by the technology giants who earn hefty profits by feeding polarizing narratives. Polarization leads to brainwashing. Additionally, there are less places to meet people than there were before. Approaching someone in public is often seen in a bad light.

So, what is the solution to this modern problem? I believe we need to bring back some of our traditional ideas. We need to put emphasis back on having a family and raising kids. We also need to tell women that it is as appealing to be a mother as a competent lawyer or engineer. After all, women were created to do all the things that men could not such as giving birth to a child. A lot more women than men do not want children in this modern world. This is probably because women pay way higher price of reproduction than men do. They sacrifice their bodies, their mental health, their career and a lot more things. A man can impregnate a woman and run away from his responsibility of raising the kid the very next day. So, naturally, women would want to be secure before bringing a new human into this world and hence, they have the right to be picky.

A mature and responsible man makes sure that he does not run away from his duty of caring for his partner and his future child. In simple words, men and women both need to take responsibility and do the hard things voluntarily. Men need to be stronger both mentally and physically and naturally, women will revert to their soft and caring feminine nature. I believe a mixture of modern outlook towards equal opportunities for both genders and a traditional perspective on marriage, family and children will serve good for humanity.