My quarter-life crisis

Peeps, it is interesting how most of us grow up. I mean if we talk about a typical Indian middle-class household, with a working father and a house making mother, we are taught to struggle for everything. This is because by the time we grow up and become young adults, we are expected to earn a decent amount of money and take the responsibility of the family on our shoulders.

I am fortunate to be receiving a decent education at this point of time when my Quarter life is approaching. Most of the people of my age, generally, don’t have a clarity of thought as to what they want to do in their careers and their personal life (and that is totally fine). Again, I am thankful to be having the clarity of thought in my career. My dear friend, who studied in Europe for years had to travel back to India because he couldn’t find a job there. He has been in India now for a few months and still can’t find a job there.

I think luck plays a bigger role in your life than you anticipate. My German dream couldn’t have been possible if I had no luck (or at least couldn’t have been realized sooner than expected). Anyways, I think my quarter life crisis is quirkier than most.

I mean how can someone with such kindness and generosity for women and people in general be single all the while? Hahaha…!!! I know you didn’t expect that. Humans have a tendency that even if they have 99 things out of 100, they will keep on chasing the one thing that eludes them. And now in my case, you already know what it is!

Let us be a little serious. Let us talk about men and their problems. The ugly truth about most young men is that they are lonely. Society has a consensus that men tend to think more sexually and less romantically. This predated notion of labelling men as more sexual and less emotional hardwires them from their early adulthood to think that way. Sometimes, I think that way too. And perhaps, I think this is one of the reasons why we tend to be lonely and socially distant. I struck up a conversation with a friend recently about having a girlfriend. I told him that he wanted a girlfriend just because of sex. But his answer surprised me. He told me that he wanted someone just to support him and be his sleeping partner when nights get lonely. He wanted someone to just hold and have deep conversations with. The fact is that he too hasn’t been with any girl throughout his life just like me. Most men just seek what most women seek and that is being comforted and feeling loved and cared.

Growing up without a partner can be frustrating and that frustration creeps inside your mind and ultimately shows in your actions in the form of desperation. It starts with sending DMs to unknown girls on social media for the sole purpose of making them girlfriends or in some cases, asking sexual favors from them. The truth is that most women always have someone to go to and someone who is readily available to become their partner. Sadly, it is not the case for most guys who end up dejected. I am not trying to justify the behavior of men on social media with unknown women. But I want to make people aware as to where that behavior stems from.

My brothers I know many of you are frustrated with your love lives. But surely this is the best time to work on yourself. Being single gives you the ability to try out new things, take up a hobby, go travelling, learn cooking and what not. We should seek solace in each other and lend a helping hand to people who are lonely. We guys should help each other in our careers and help discover each other’s goals.

Good looks may not be enough to please women, but years of hard work and struggle is impressive to most. Surely, someday soon, you will get the love of your life when you least expect it. But until then, you need to keep your head down and keep grinding. My kings, lady luck will shine on you. Just hang in there!

So, this is the story of my quarter life. I am devoid of romantic love. I have lowered my expectations of finding a girlfriend. I am trying to be more social with people of different nationalities here. I am focusing on what amazes me. For the time being, it is my studies and my career.

But as things stand currently, I seek solace in listening to music and socializing on weekends during the long and lonely nights.

 

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