From the guy no girl ever fell in love with

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“You are too good for this world. You don’t always need to be nice and kind to everybody” my mother said to me. I wondered if she wanted me to be someone I wasn’t. I know I have my needs and desires and I need to be vocal about it to other people. But I don’t want to be that narcissistic personality who is too much obsessed about himself. I just like this version of myself. Calm, composed, down-to-earth and KIND.

Being a hopeless romantic (and you can figure it out from my genre of movies that I watch), I was going through my quest to search for the existence of true love. I believed that it still existed more so because of the example that my parents put in front of me. I had once fallen for someone. But that’s about it. It wasn’t reciprocated. It wasn’t love. A relationship is mutual. True love is a thing between two people.

My fellow friend said that those ideas don’t work anymore. What exists is LUST. I believed him. But then one fine day, he came to me and said that he had found THE ONE. She loved him back more. He said that this was the greatest feeling in the world. He had fallen head over heels for this one and only person. Can you imagine the person who only believed in lust had now fallen for someone? Ironical!

I started to reinstate my thoughts about true love and soulmates. In our young generation too, this old-school ideology exists. The idea of waking up in the arms of the same person for the rest of your life. The idea of creating a fantasy world of your own where only you both reside. The concept of falling in love with the little things over and over again. The satisfaction you get when you see the face of your beloved after a long and tiresome day. Living under the same roof, sharing the same bed, making dinner together, managing your expenses together, planning out your future and career together, being happy together, sharing emotional and personal space. All of this was influencing my thoughts. I too wanted to fall for someone. I was perhaps too good. It is said that in order to judge a man, look at the way he treats the women (mother, grandmother, sister) in his life.

So, every time I felt a connection with someone, they came and went. Every time I wished she be mine, she wasn’t to be. She had someone else to go to; she had something else to look forward to. This made my heart break into million pieces because I got too attached emotionally but she wouldn’t. It still wasn’t her fault. It was mine. I was too stupid. I would fall for anybody who showed me even her least bit of attention and then I would cry over that because it didn’t work out the way I wanted it to.


So, after all the fuss, I realized there was nothing wrong with me nor her. It was only that we wanted different things from life. I moved on and just about turned okay without her. 

I realized it’s not always about loving someone else, perhaps it’s about loving yourself more than anyone else.  

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